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Reader Email #30

Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by ([email protected]) on Friday, March 7, 2003 at 15:28:24
Reason for contacting us: I want to submit a picture (or something)

Comments: DAMN those implements! They keep on... implementing stuff! Yeah!
At twelve o'clock we got attacked by an elephant. We tried to run away but we ran into a wall. So we ran the other way but there was a bunch of thingies. So we had to recruit Dean to kill the elephant. Which he did. Yum. So then we elected him to leader of the tribe and now he lives in a hut with a vast capacity of time warp machines and a load of zimmer frames. We are scared that the toothbrushes might be rampant. We need to recruit Lord Dean again to postpone them.
Anyway, I am now scratching my intellect and trying to figure out where that blasted penk weg has got to! Damn that intellect it's such a utensil!
Mack the dessert spoon swigs a can...
Anyway, the moral of this story is, cheese loves me. Burn Christmas. And my spelling is pretty darn good so HA! You are FOILED! But no! I shouldn't have said that! By saying that I have released FrictionHead from his time capsule at the bottom of the continent and now snails are sagacious. How will the world survive?
Bye Bye

PS: Don't forget to change your socks and brush your utensils. I mean toenails. No! I mean Barry, the frog, in my ponderous spaceship. Don't forget to brush him or he might explode.

PPS: Oh, and tell Myla that her salted saviour with extra pickles has arrived. Tell her to collect it soon, it's going cold! Oooh I can see the walnuts congealing. PING! Pre-pancake kata. Karate chop! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h ah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah a aha ha ha aha ha ah ah aa ha ha aha ah aha ha aah aha ha aha ah aha ha ha ha ha ha ah aha ah a aha aa

name: fran the spacial spoon

Dear Fran:

Thank you for taking the time to interview for the position of 'Random Whacko User'.

We regret to inform you we have decided to pursue other candidates who meet our needs more closely. Although your background and qualifications meet some of our requirements, they are not the exact match we were looking for to fill this position.

Thank you for your time, and good luck in your future endeavors. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to give us a call.


The Guys From StupidStuff.ORG

[Filed Under: Back Away Slowly Without Making Any Sudden Movements]

Editor's note: A few of the more disturbing phrases in that letter, in no particular order: "Pre-pancake kata", "toothbrushes might be rampant", "penk weg", "walnuts congealing", and "cheese loves me".

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