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StupidStuff Joke-O-Matic

At StupidStuff.org, we're constantly adding to our Master Joke List, which we keep hidden in the Joke Vault, safe from prying eyes. Then we realized how stupid that was, and we came up with the Joke-O-Matic to solve that problem. The Joke-O-Matic serves our jokes up a few at a time, nice and neat- no muss, no fuss. There are currently over 5,000 jokes in the Joke-O-Matic. To get more jokes just click the "More jokes please!" button below. You can also browse our jokes by category if you prefer.

 
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A man moved to an unfamaliar area and was very lonely.So he decides to buy some pets.He went walking into town and noticed a man selling chickens.He went up to the man and said:

"I'll take one hen and one rooster."

The man gladly sold him the birds b . . .


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Q: What do you call a cat with a machine gun?
A: Sir.

Q: What does a snail do on a tortoise's back?
A: "Vrooom... vrooom... vrooooooom..."

Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.


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Home from work


One day a man came home from work and he was greeted by his wife. She told that she has good news and that she had bad news. He said "Well, give me the good news first." She said "The good news is that the air bag works."


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